var mess = new Array('once shot a man in Reno, just because he likes cliches.','is the luckiest girl in the world!','holds no world records at all.','believes in you.','is the DJ, I\'m the Rapper.','once ate an entire sandwich.','can count to this many.','is drunk again.','knows when to hold \'em, is still working on when to fold \'em.','is calling from inside the house!','stole the cookie from the cookie jar.','has two turn tables and a pocketful of shells.','is neither a lover, nor a fighter.  Nor a licensed driver.','is not the droids you\'re looking for.','always lies; I always tell the truth.','is a rogue cop with nothing to lose.','has a secret.  Shhh!','will meet you at the usual place.','has just about had it with you, mister!','came heavy.','is the answer to 32 Down.','looks good in those pants.','wants what he can not have.  And has what he can not want.','will sell you this treasure map.','will leave when he\'s damn well ready!','is getting sleepy, very sleepy.','wants this to be a clean fight.','is not afraid to die.  He\'s afraid to live.  And also of birds.','is as tall as an oak and twice as strong.','is not to be trusted around cake.','has shifty eyes.','is the child spoken of in prophesy.','needs a hug.','has seen Short Circuit 2 about a million times.','is without a doubt the #1 biggest fan of hyperbole in the entire universe.','only has $8.','is a policeman driving an ambulance on the way to a fire.','doesn\'t know the meaning of the word "poodle."','may already be a winner.','once donated a kidney, but wouldn\'t say where he got it.','enjoys stamp collecting.  Wait, not stamps, stumps.  He enjoys stump collecting.','is from your hometown, and went to your high school.','doesn\'t know, and wouldn\'t tell you if he did.','survived a childhood bout with Cooties.','can say "hello" in one language.','comes with a 30-day money back guarantee.','is said to still haunt these woods today, forever searching for his lost wallet.','remembers a time when blah blah boring Zzzzzzzzzzz.','ain\'t trying to hear that.','has no use for trivia.','has no sense of object permanence.');
var max = mess.length;
var num = Math.floor((Math.random() * max));
document.writeln(mess[num]);